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THE FIFTY LEAST INFLUENTIAL PEOPLE IN ROCK MUSIC HISTORY |
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Is he a Yankee? Nah, he's
a Londoner! Alas, no one gave a toss and didn't bother trying
to copy his unique and often ridiculous comedy cockney style. Trivia fact: He couldn't play bass. Or drums. The irony! |
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They sent a letter to America,
they walked 500 miles, they even yelled "Let's get married!".
But speccy acoustic duos didn't suddenly overrun Britain. Trivia fact: The Proclaimers are both scared of mushrooms. |
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There's heroically shit and
then there's just plain rubbish. Level 42, in case you were wondering,
fall into the latter category. Trivia fact: Mark King is the most irritating man in pop history. |
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Can you remember what this
lot were like? Neither can we. Surely that in itself speaks volumes.
Trivia fact: Debarge lived on a barge. |
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He told us to Shaddup Our
Faces and we took him at his word, shadduping our mouths, eyes
and ears. Trivia fact: Joe Dolce was Italian. Well, he sounded Italian anyway. |
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Diddle-dee-dee!Diddle-dee-dee-dee!
And so on. Can you whistle the follow up tune to "The Final
Countdown"? Precisely. Trivia fact: Europe are the worst band I've ever seen live. |
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They had the time of their
lives. Then we told them to fuck off and take their dirty dancing
theme tune nonsense with them. Trivia fact: There has never been a medley of Bill Medley songs. |
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Ski-ba-bop-da-bop! Do-ba-ba-ba-dum-de-do! Bop-de-ba-ska-de-bop-de-dum! Wabba-dabba-hubba-cubba-dum! Triva fact: Ba-de-bop-de-ba-bop! Ska-de-dum-de-ho-de-hum! |
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They may have been big bald
fantabulous gay men with shirts that were just too sexy for this
world, but no one, absolutely no one, not even themselves after
"Deeply Dippy", tried to do this kind of thing ever
again. Trivia fact: Right Said Fred were ace. |
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He had love. He had pride.
He had big boots and stupid hair. Did anyone attempt to follow
in his footsteps? They did not. Does he care with his telly presenter's
salary? We doubt it. Trivia fact: King is actually the king of Norway. |
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So shit that when the Manics
went rubbish they ripped off Foreigner instead of Survivor. The
"Rocky" theme tune rockers were officially the worst
heavy metal band ever to have existed. Even worse than Venon.
Trivia fact: The eye of a tiger has an average circumference of 16 inches. |
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They had two singing nuns
(well, they looked a bit like nuns) called The Anadin Sisters.
Their singer was eight feet tall. "Spirit In The Sky"
wasn't even their own song, but a cover. Obscurity was always
an inevitability. Trivia fact: The Doctor was actually a qualified vet. |
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A toss up between her and
Sonia (eh? eh?) for who was actually the least influential but
Sinitta wins by one fall and one submission. Good for her. Trivia fact: Sinitta is in no way related to Frank Sinatra. |
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He could be so good for us, Waterman lied in his one and only hit. His daughter is now in "EastEnders" but that doesn't count. Trivia fact: Dennis Waterman is Suzy Quatro's brother. Something like that anyway. |
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Controversial. Trivia fact: Oh for fuck's sake. |
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He rocked Amadeus. Or did
Amadeus rock him? I can't quite remember. Anyway, novelty rapping
continental type who didn't seem to do much after this one hit.
Wonder why? Trivia fact: Falco is Justine Frischmann's favourite artist of all time. |
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Won a Q award recently, but
God knows what for. Bonkers folk seventies type lady that loads
of old men get misty eyed over even though she's about as sexy
as your mum. Errr, that's illegal. Trivia fact: Kate Bush is. . .no, we can't say that. |
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Man mountain, grunge god supreme,
and, er, that's about it. No one has listened to one of his records
and lived to tell the tale, let alone tried to make one that
sounded like it. Trivia fact: Tad was actually just big boned. |
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Goth duo lot. Bit like Tic and Toc, but different. Didn't have any hits, probably didn't write any tunes, but looked great in black and caked in make up. No one has tried to copy them, not even Christian Death. Trivia fact: Gene didn't really love Jezabel. That was just a play on words. |
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CATHY DENNIS | Remember this perky pop puppet? Wonder whatever happened to her? Trivia fact: Many confused boys liked Cathy in a special way. |
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